Venice...ah Venice...What are you.

What a strange town, this Venice place. No cars, just boats, and gondolas. I have no idea why they're called gondolas (there the fancy black big canoe looking things manned by some italian with a funny hat, a black and white shirt, and one oar). And these clowns in the referee zebra shirts and the hiked up black pants say 'gondola' in abouuut the most annoying way possible...they don't really pronounce the 'g' and they pretty much sing the rest of the word at every who goes by. But still I really wanted to steal one of these 'ondolas.'

When people talk about riding the busses here...they mean water busses. There public transport system consists of water busses motoring up and down the canals. And the taxis, are also in the rivers, and wow they are some sharp looking boats. They look like limos. So I guess if it was your dream to drive a taxi, I guess Venice would be like the 'the show' or 'the big dance' if you will. But back to the busses, these "busses" had the worst boat drivers ever. Every bus station is like a little dock, and these bus drivers just smash into these docks at good speeds. It's pretty entertaining, providing you have a seat, because the germaphobic touching anything bus surfing would not work here.

So having said that. Of these bad bus drivers, we had a real mensch (wedding crashers anyone, man I haven't seen a movie in a long time, quotes are all I got). This guy was trying to pull of the worst parallel park job in the history of venice. He went back and forth about 8 times running into the dock every time, and then gunning the engines to get us going in the other direction. So after this clown spends 5 minutes tryin to park this boat, after about fifteen seconds of people getting on and off, the guy rips outta the station, with one girl half on and half off. So use your imagination here and think about how this looks. And she barely makes it onto the dock in time....just kidding, she definitely fell into the nasty, nasty green sewage venice water. Come on I wouldn't dissapoint you with a story like that would I.

As bad as I felt for this girl, who had the I'm so embarrassed uncomfortable smile on her, I was laughing my ass off. Oh man, that's kinda mean but it was a laugh I'm telling ya. And all that kept going through my head was Will Tait saying "you must be so embarrassed" in the way that only will can pull off.

I have another real gem of a story I wanna tell about venice but we gotta go catch a train so next time. And of course there's no pictures because the computer I'm on...is older than I am and literally does not have usb ports. Ha! What a place.